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Always Get Better   

Clinic Strategies With Family Members/Involved Others

1. Separate the Person from their Chemical Health

Learn to ‘Love the person but dislike their chemical health’ – it’s easier said than done, but it’s an important distinction.

2. Take Responsibility for your Own Reactions and Responses to the Chemical Health of another

The patient is contributing lots of negativity to your relationship. Discover what you are inadvertently doing to make things worse and find corrective actions you can take to stop adding ‘fuel to the fire’. Learn to set better limits and boundaries.

3. Learn What it is Like to Make for Changes in Habits/Addictions

One of thebest ways to create empathy and understanding is to ‘join with’ the patient and make a change in your lifestyle that has become destructive. Choose a project like losing weight, overcoming inactivity, stopping smoking or similar and see what it’s like to struggle with changing bad habits.

4. Make Changes to Your Own Chemical Health

If you want your partner to stop drinking – stop drinking yourself. Be a leader instead of a blamer. If you want your son to stop marijuana smoking – stop your cigarette smoking. Since the majority of Americans (including most of our families) are too attached to their own use of alcohol we insist family members change (at least somewhat!). We ask them to make a 'chemical health accomodation'. This is consistent with achieving better hemical health/excellence.

5. Reduce Victimization and Increase Leadership

Learn to be more assertive and less passive or aggressive. Become more independent and less entangled with the person with erratic chemical health. Set up appointments for yourself rather than wait for the other. Read more. Get involved and stay connected with a counselor that can help you refine your skills at defending yourself from chemical abuse.

Best National AA 

Alternative Sites

Dr. Stanton Peele, Ph.D


Rational Recovery

SMART Recovery

Women For Sobriety

Moderation Management